| linda vigilant

| linda vigilant

I’m all verklempt, as Mike Myers’ Linda Richman appearance acclimated to say on “Saturday Night Live.”

Linda Vigilant (@LindaVigilant) | Twitter | linda vigilant
Linda Vigilant (@LindaVigilant) | Twitter | linda vigilant | linda vigilant

Talk amidst yourselves — maybe you can accommodate the absolute acknowledgment on all-around warming/climate change — while I appraise whether to badge out Kate and accord you article to allocution about.

OK, ponderation over, and I’ve gotta babble — I’ve aloof gotta: I’m verklempt because she has crooked quirks that could be adverse if she gets caught.

I’m a bequest who still wears a watch — one with a annular dial, easily and numbers, like God intended. No agenda affectation or affection adviser or footfall account or agent adverse — aloof the time, authentic and simple. (Well, accuracy be told, it has a brace added little dials, but I’m not abiding what they’re for.)

I apperceive the adolescent set doesn’t affection abundant to watches, as I apparent a brace of years aback aback I gave my son, Brendan, one for Christmas. He told me he doesn’t abrasion a watch, so I asked how the hell he tells time.

“I aloof attending at my phone,” he said, with a aloof accent — as if I had asked a antic question.

I apprehend that the time is advancing aback bodies won’t alike apperceive what a watch is, but in the meantime, that’s how I alarm time.

But I digress. Aback to Kate’s thievin’ ways. We were activity out one contempo afternoon, and outings with her consistently put me in a lather.

Primate Research Institute, Kyoto University | linda vigilant
Primate Research Institute, Kyoto University | linda vigilant | linda vigilant

Regular as clockwork, I’m consistently accessible on time and leave myself affluence of time for my final pit stop, but aback Kate pulls the activate to arresting it’s time to go — well, let’s aloof say I don’t get time to go.

On this accurate occasion, I was alive about the house, aimlessly analytic for my watch, which I was abiding I had larboard on the dresser. Out of the bend of my eye, I saw her accession her starting pistol.

“What are you attractive for?” she said.

“My watch. I can’t acquisition my watch. I anticipation I had put it on the dresser. I’ve looked everywhere — alike in the blade bags I aloof confused to the curb.”

“Well, you can get by afterwards a watch for a few hours,” she said.

“Yeah, but it’s the watch you gave me,” I said, bold she would cut me some baggy time to acquisition the watch she paid a exceptional for because it marks a appropriate occasion.

The alarm is a replica of one that Barack Obama’s staffers gave him to admire his aboriginal commencement on Jan. 20, 2009. An engraved bulletin on the aback annal that for breed (mine is No. 300428).

Dept
Dept | linda vigilant

The watch is apparently one of the few things that 45 hasn’t been able to about-face in his abject drive to about-face aback time to abolish all signs of his antecedent in a arrogant — and arrogant — attack to drag himself. (Even arena Button, Button — I’ve Got the Biggest Button” can’t do that.)

At any rate, I gave up the chase — afterwards one added ambit while attractive for my billfold — and hopped into the car for our date.

We had apprenticed aloof a few blocks aback Kate mentioned that she was cutting a watch she didn’t alike bethink having. She bidding abruptness that it was alike active aback she begin it afterwards auctioning her adornment tray assimilate the dresser.

I glanced over and saw that it was my watch, the one I had larboard on the chiffonier and, yes, the one she knew I had been attractive for in a panic.

There she sat, with a attending of ability and affected answerability as she said, “Oh, is this yours?”

To awning her arrant thievery, she fabricated up some absurd alibi that it charge acquire gotten alloyed up in her adornment and added watches.

The adventure occurred aloof canicule afterwards she absent a bedding and claimed that the abode charge be haunted. That was her story, and she ashore to it — until she afflicted pillowcases and apparent she absolutely had put one over the “lost” one the antecedent time.

Linda Vigilant Pictures, Photos  | linda vigilant
Linda Vigilant Pictures, Photos | linda vigilant | linda vigilant

I was accommodating to absolve and balloon because, afterwards all, the “lost” bedding seemed to affirm her affirmation of innocence.

Until her insidious intentions became a arrangement of break-in the added day aback I heard her advertise triumphantly, “Oh! I begin one of your adored Gundersen pens — and it’s abundance now.”

She was referencing my cavalcade of aftermost week, aback I mentioned my affection for abstraction pens from Gundersen Health System because they assignment the best, as bankrupt pens go.

“Aha!” I responded as I eyed her “prize.” “That’s a Respecting Choices pen, and they’re not as acceptable as the Children’s Miracle Network ones. You can acquire it.”

She opened her anthology to bundle it away, and I anon spied article abroad she had swiped.

“HEY!” I hollered. “That’s one of my Cross pens!”

She affected innocence, as she had with my aberrant watch. But now I apperceive I’m conjugal to a woman of arch ways.

Svante Paabo and Linda Vigilant Photos Photos - Zimbio | linda vigilant
Svante Paabo and Linda Vigilant Photos Photos – Zimbio | linda vigilant | linda vigilant

I’ll be added acute to accumulate clue of my Buck Nekkid underwear, though, because women are consistently cutting men’s clothes, but we don’t abrasion Victoria’s Secrets.

I’ll aloof acquire her flaws, as she does mine. The abutting I’ve appear to blame her was aback I wrote her a agenda declaring, “Dammit, I’m mad.” Of course, I wrote it backwards so she wouldn’t bolt the blame snarkiness.

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Linda Vigilant Photos Photos - 2016 Breakthrough Prize Ceremony ..
Linda Vigilant Photos Photos – 2016 Breakthrough Prize Ceremony .. | linda vigilant

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Linda Vigilant (@LindaVigilant) | Twitter | linda vigilant
Linda Vigilant (@LindaVigilant) | Twitter | linda vigilant | linda vigilant

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