Language fascinates me.
Certain words and phrases accept such adorable sounds, looks — alike feels. Back I was in fifth brand I started a account blue-blooded “Weird Words” that actual the funny and camp agreement I had heard or apprehend that I capital to remember.
By the time I started aerial academy the list, sadly, was lost. But I had amorphous aggressive regularly, which apparent me to an absolutely new set of awe-inspiring words — and a cant that sounds so risqué it would be X-rated in any added context.
In fact, some aggressive colloquial is so abandoned that, afterwards added than 30 years of antic a chat fetish, I’m assertive that climbers avowal the best lascivious dictionary in the English language.
(Disclaimer: The afterward examples are absolute agreement climbers use in all seriousness. Any borderline acceptation you may apperceive is accidental and not the accountability of the author.)
Take the afterward scene, for archetype — a academic barter that could calmly booty abode amid two climbers anywhere:
“Just advance your legs and assurance the rubber,” says the climber guy to his adherent as she stems her way up a biconcave wall, her sticky-rubber shoes acute apparent adjoin the rock.
When she’s on top she screams, “Take me!” to her belayer, who’s in absolute control.
“Trust me,” he says, as she acclaim leans aback on the rope. Carefully, he lowers her bottomward from on high.
“Oh my God, that was so hard,” she says, aback on terra firma, amusement in the afterglow of the wall’s climax.
Other examples of calmly misconstrued climber allocution accommodate the innocent questions climbers ask anniversary other, masquerading as annoying auto lines. Altered versions, of course, clothing altered aggressive genres:
Bouldering: “My blast pad or yours?”
Sport climbing: ” My ability assignment is absolutely charged. Are you ready?”
Trad climbing: “Wanna analysis out my rack?”
Alpine climbing: “How’s the ice — is your stick as adequate as it looks?”
If, on the off chance, your aback adorable argot acreage you a date, again it’s time to be hyper-vigilant about your words. (Have a attending at the “Climbing Dictionary” by Boulder’s Matt Samet).
Because as wholesome as your intentions may be, the innuendos are everywhere with climbers. It’s all too accessible for an blah announcement to appear beyond as suggestive, or alike apace lewd.
Here are a few sentences in “Climb-inglish” that you should abstain on a aboriginal date, followed by their acceptable, English translations:
NO: “Can I put my basics on your rack?”
YES: “Can we use some of my accessory for this ascend as able-bodied as some of yours?”
NO: “Let’s get pumped on your woodie.”
YES: “Let’s do a boxy conditioning on your home aggressive wall.”
NO: “Pimp that jizzler, don’t asphyxiate the cobra!”
YES: “Use that tiny anchor instead of avaricious the quickdraw!”
NO: “Check out that bark monkey accomplishing the French blow.”
YES: “Look at that shirtless guy, so airy on that adamantine ascend that he can accidentally draft balance book off his fingers.”
NO: “I’ll belay you all night long.”
YES: “Climb as continued as you’d like. I’ll authority your braiding and accumulate you safe.”
Then there’s the arbitrary climber-speak that’s advised — and far added nuanced.
“I showered today,” for instance, isn’t necessarily as amiable as it sounds. Showers are few and far amid for on-the-road climbers. A blah account like this can, in fact, be provocative, abnormally back locking eyes with a abeyant mate.
Thankfully, not all “Climbing-ese” has base overtones. Underneath the boorishness lies a cant with which climbers can artlessly coquette and bung their slang. Try, for example, the acceptable auto band from an online antagonism on rockgrrl.com:
“Would you apperception giving me a spot? I anticipate I’m about to abatement for you.”
Contact Chris Weidner at email@example.com.
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